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Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Inside the Envelope....Pink or Blue?

Saturday was Husband’s birthday.  In honour of the occasion we decided to pretend to be trendy young things and headed off to E&O in Notting Hill for a spot of tasty pan-Asian cuisine. 

The place was abuzz with Notting Hill’s finest when we got there.  Gorgeous, good looking sorts that assimilated themselves into the vibrant, cool location with ease.  It was a warm evening and I was grateful to see we were sat by the open window.  My pregnancy radiating it’s own warmth from within, I appreciated the extra ventilation.  We indulged ourselves in a short spell of people watching whilst waiting for our aperitifs and perusing the menu; sweet potato and aubergine tempura, chilli squid, Thai fishcakes, blackened cod. Yum, double yum.

Two flutes of champagne appeared at the table. 

"I know you’re not really drinking but this is a special occasion." said Husband. I assumed that he was talking about the fact it was his birthday.

Then his meaning became clear.

With a flourish, he produced a small brown envelope; the envelope, and laid it on the table between us.

“I think we should open it.” he grinned.  “We found out that you were pregnant on your birthday, and I think it would be nice to find out whether we’re having a boy or girl on mine.”

In the week that had passed I’d looked at that envelope hundreds of times on the kitchen dresser and not once had I been tempted to peek. But there, in the moment, suddenly I felt  excited; childlike, giddy, bubbles rising within.  Should we? I wondered, should we do it?

We had known Pip was a boy. I enjoyed knowing. Throughout my pregnancy I felt it helped me to bond with him.  When struggling in second stage labour, I visualised him, thought about him; my son - it helped me break through the pain, and the final difficulties of delivering him.  I had thought that perhaps this time, it might be nice not to find out; a point of difference for this pregnancy from the last, but I wasn’t wedded to that thought either. 

"Carpe Diem."  A little voice whispered inside my head. And suddenly I thought, ‘Yes, why not?’

“Go on then..let’s do it.”

As he opened the envelope, I felt every beat of my heart pounding inside my chest.

“She wrote it on a blue piece of paper” I said.

“It’s not there!” said Husband, fumbling but trying not to look.

“I can only feel the scan photo’s...” 

Finally, after much foraging at the bottom of the envelope, a small square of paper was revealed. Husband placed it with the plain side, face up on the table.

“Let’s turn it over together...”



Wow.  A boy.  A brother for Pip.  I had to choke back the tears; suddenly I felt overcome with emotion.  The miracle of human creation can be quite overwhelming. 

My whole life, I've always wished I had a same sex sibling.  I watched my brothers grow from being children fighting over toy cars to become men that are the best of friends. I often wished that I had the closeness they’ve got, perhaps it was because they were both boys, perhaps not. But the thought that Pip may have the benefit of a relationship like theirs means a lot.

Letting the news sink in, we looked for the first time at the pictures of our little merman swimming peacefully in my amniotic fluid. We talked about what he might be like. We wondered how he might be similar or different to Pip. We laughed about the fact, that even before opening the envelope, we knew if we were to have a boy, finding a name to agree on would be a struggle. (I do favour a good left-field name choice.)

During the course of our meal, I felt him, our baby boy, gently kicking away, as if saying ‘Hi Mum, so you know I’m a boy now... are you pleased?’.  The sentimentalist, slightly crazy lady in me, shut my eyes and sent him a message, telling him, how delighted I was that he was a boy (and also promising I'd make sure he got as just a good a name as his brother, and that if he was listening to the conversation at the table, he shouldn’t worry about being landed with one of his father’s silly suggestions.)

It was a memorable evening for all the right reasons. I’m glad I know. It may sound strange, but I feel even more connected to my baby now than I did previously.   I can’t wait to meet him.

18 comments:

  1. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! A BOY!!! Oh boy oh boy oh boy! <3 Of course ...I'm a bit biased aren't I?

    I myself appreciate having same sex siblings. At the same time I ONLY had sisters and always wanted a brother too so my son(s) are giving me that experience of boys in a home. Rambunctious, glorious boys.

    Eli and Ben will be my only children so I do wish I could have one more (if only I could turn back the clock five years on my hubby's and my ages) just so I could get a daughter to complete the motherhood experience with both genders ...but I can't deny how excited I was (and a little relieved) that I was having another boy.

    Reuse clothing. Same toys! And the best thing about it - a brother having a brother! They will probably understand each other in ways I could never understand because I'm a female!

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    1. Your oh boy oh boy line did make me chuckle! I didn't have you down as over the hill(!) I'm sure you've got time to squeeze another baby out if you want one?!

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    2. I'm not! I'm 33 but my hubby is 49!!! He looks 39. Healthy and fit as a fiddle (thanks to the military) but yeah ...he already worries about being mistaken as the kids grandpa when they are teens. LOL

      I love the idea of brothers. They become so close. Such best friends. It's so special to have that. I really truly look forward to their rough housing haha! I'll eat my words!

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  2. Oh you do write a good post .... everytime! The build up to the revelation was fab. Nottinghill is over populated by the over-beautiful ones isnt it? Particularly Westbourne Park. Anyway you are beautifully pregnant, and I'll wager gorgeous sans pregnancy, so count yourself in the in-in crowd. And congratulations - another bouncing boy! Hoorah! I'm actually quite similat to you .... I don't know what order you came in, but I'm the first born and I have two younger brothers - always wanted a sister!

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    1. Thank you OM. You're very kind *blushes*
      Yes, am exactly the same as you, first born girl followed by two younger brothers, and always wanted a sister. My best mate had two sisters and she always says 'You think having a sister would be like having a best friend..I can tell you...it's not!' But even that can't shake my rose tinted view that having a sister would have been lovely.

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  3. Ahhh, loved reading this! How very very exciting. x

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    1. Thanks Lise, yes, feel v. excited.

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  4. Congratulations!!!! A perfect way of finding out, I love the fact that you were out for hubby's birthday and it was just the right time to find out :)

    So many little boys about to make their way into the world this year!! XXXX

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    1. Thanks TL...maybe mini Lloyd is a boy too?!

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  5. What wonderful news. Every time I read a post of yours, I have to come back and read it again before commenting. Thrilling. I have two boys with 4 years between them. Together with our love of Champagne and Pimms, you and I have increasing amounts in common! Congratulations again. My boys are firm friends. XX

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    1. So glad to hear that your boys are firm friends, I hope mine are too.

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  6. Congratulations! How lovely - boys are fab. And I agree with your friend, having a sister is not all it's cracked up to be! Polly

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    1. Yes, I think opinions on 'sisterhood' are firmly divided. I guess for me it was a case of 'the grass is always greener' especially on days when Action Man had take Barbie on an adventure and got her covered in mud!

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  7. Congratulations, what a lovely way to find out! I did wonder how long it would take for it to be opened...I wouldn't have been able to resist for that long. x

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    1. I thought we'd last longer! But at least it was a memorable moment - and not just ripped open over the kitchen sink!

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  8. Congratulations! At first I read that you went to B&Q but my eyes were deceiving me. I really don't know how you managed to keep yourself away from that envelope for so long :-) Two boys would be my dream come true too.

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  9. Lovely lovely news MP, as you know I have one of each, love them both, TC is a bit of a tomboy at the mo though :))

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  10. I have 2 boys and love it! I had a brother and we are ery close and have always been best of friends, going out drinking together, visiting when we were away at uni etc, but I had always wished I had a sister as well. I would of loved to have been able to give my 2 boys a sister but it is not meant to be and I am content. Boys are great, full of life and very, very loving! Congratulations x

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