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Tuesday, 17 July 2012

20 Week Scan

Last week I hit the 20 week milestone. The wait between our 12 and 20 week scan seemed to stretch on forever. Worrying voices niggled at me. Is baby ok?   My body showed the burgeoning signs of pregnancy; a blooming stomach and buoyant breasts - as if reassuring me.  Even the mirror tried to be my assuring friend; ‘No’ the reflection spoke back; ‘You’re pregnant. Look how much you’ve grown since you last wore those. They do NOT fit’.  And then somewhere around week 17, perhaps stirred into action by a turbulent flight to Greece, from the depths within, I felt movement.  The little one was indeed alive and kicking.  I felt better.

Today we had our 20 week scan.  Last night in bed, baby and I played touch ping pong. I pressed in on my tummy and he / she kicked back. Communication through a series of prods and kicks assured me that baby was still with me. The question preying on my mind was; is everything as it should be?  Of the many people who knew about my scan today, virtually no-one asked; "Are you nervous?" It is an anomaly scan, after all. The question on everyone’s lips instead was; "Are you going to find out the sex?" I know I’ve asked the same thing of others.  I hadn’t realised how irritating that can be, especially if you’re nervous or worried about how your baby might be developing. 

Last week we made an emergency dash to hospital after some spotting. It all turned out to be fine, but in the run up to today, I was nervous, I was anxious, and frankly, all I cared about was that our baby was developing as a human should be at this point in time.  As far as I was concerned, pink or blue didn’t really matter.  The luxury of that knowledge could be a pleasant afterthought.

Thankfully, all was as it should be.  With relief, we watched him/her bounce around a bit and got a superb side profile view of the face.  It was fascinating to take a peek within and see our little one moving around, waving arms and legs at us and making sucking motions with his/her mouth.

"Would you like to know the sex?" the Sonographer asked us when she had established that everything else was ok.  Did we want to know? We were undecided.  Nothing we’d seen on the the screen in front of us had given anything away.   In the end, we decided to keep our options open.  The Sonographer agreed to write down the gender of our baby on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope for us.  

As we left the hospital, we talked about the various grainy images we’d seen on the screen. We hadn’t even reached the car park when Husband said; 

"I’ve got an inkling. Shall I tell you what it is?"  
"Oooh, go on then," I grinned. "So have I".
"Girl" 
"No way! I’m sure it’s a boy."

Clearly one of us isn’t destined for a second career conducting ultrasounds.

Right now, hidden in the kitchen, is a small sealed brown envelope containing an as yet, unknown secret. 

Will we get to the end without opening it? I really don’t know. Would you be tempted?

26 comments:

  1. I just am not that personality type that understands waiting to find out something like that LOL. I see it as totally impossible NOT to be tempted and hold back AND not practical! For me knowing the sex of the baby is like - a way of bonding already. LOL. But it's personal for everyone.

    I have friends that kept nagging me to hold out this time and not find out. No way! If you decided to peek Let us know!!!!

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    1. Hee hee. I spoke to my friend on the phone this afternoon and she was all for coming round and ripping the envelope open herself. She said 'I can't believe your self control'. I said..'it's only been one afternoon!'

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  2. It's completely normal to feel anxious. I definitely felt that way too. Sometimes I would poke my belly just for a kick to make sure everything was ok in there. Oh, and you have more patience than me. I would have ripped that envelope open by now!

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    1. 24 hours later and I am tempted. Husband will not be happy if I sneak a peak without him though!

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  3. I have been watching out for a blog or tweet!! I am so pleased everything was fine with the scan it must be such a relief for you after last weeks bleed. I know only to well how hard it is when you realise it is an anomaly scan rather than just a case of being able to wave at your baby, the good thing is though the majority are absolutely fine! I am impressed the sonographer wrote it down for you! I'll be interested to hear how long you last :)

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    1. Ah, thanks for thinking of me. I feel a lot more chilled now. x

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  4. I am just rubbish at surprises, I asked for both of mine. It's an entirely personal thing. Mr J couldn't be at my 20 week scan with TC so I bought an "It's a Girl" card for him. He still has it up in his office :)
    So pleased everything was ok, bleeding isn't always bad news as I can contest to xx

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    1. The card is a lovely idea. In the U.S I read that they have cakes made now, when you cut it open it's either pink or blue on the inside!

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  5. Glad all went well-I have my 20 week scan in just over 2 weeks but like you keep getting the 'is baby OK? Am I really pregnant?' thoughts all the time despite the finally growing waistline etc-I think it's because I am generally feeling better in myself so now worrying that baby isn't OK!

    We probably won't find out as we didn't with Alex-and it will be nice to wind up half my NCT friends who are impatient about it ;) HOWEVER if I had an envelope in the draw I would be using that kettle steam to take a sneaky peak and then feel VERY guilty about it! Will be interesting to see if it opens before baby comes!x

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    1. Not long now till yours then, will keep an eye on your blog to see how you get on. Glad you are feeling better.

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  6. Glad all went well especially after your spotting last week. As for the envelope, not sure I could not open it. First time round we didnt want to know, 2nd time the hospital said they weren't allowed to tell us but I wsa being scanned every other day towards the end so kew the sonographer and had convinced myself it was a girl and was scare dof being disappointed. While she did not tell me what we were having she did a lovely image on th screen and pointed out 2 legs and an umbilical cord and the 4th thing showing on the screen which she said she couldnt name told me! I was glad to know in the end.

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    1. Sounds like that sonographer was a star!

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  7. There's no way I'd want to know, I'd wait. When we had our scan I told the sonographer straight off that we didn't want to know, so that was the end of the conversation, it was never mentioned. I couldn't have it in a drawer in the kitchen. So glad everything is OK especially after your scare. If you do peek, do tell us! Polly

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    1. We knew with Pip, so in the sense of being different this time, I think it might be nice to wait. Will tell you if I sneak a peek :0)

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  8. I'm sorry to hear that you had a spotting scare last week - that must have been a very anxiety ridden time for you, but also very glad to read that the scan went well - I was nervous about that one too, as its, afterall, about detecting defects etc Little A stopped moving at around 19 weeks which freaked me out but then started motoring again a week later. I actually read that babies can go quiet in the period 19 - 22 weeks ... anyway, I did want to know the sex at that scan, and was very glad to find out it was a girl we were expecting .... so I would be so tempted to open that envelope you now have in your hands. I remember feeling alot more relieved after that second scan was out of the way .... Now you can really enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

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    1. It's such a nerve wracking thing really - I'm not sure one ever stops worrying completely. And then they're born..and you have a whole heap of different things to worry about! Still, the worry is worth it - a million times over.

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  9. So pleased that everything is okay after the scare. I approached every scan in a state of nervous anxiety; I lie holding my breath, waiting for the 'okay'. But how restrained are you keeping that envelope sealed. How long do you think you'll last? Will you be sneaking downstairs in the dead of night and holding it up to the light to get a peak?

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    1. Thanks FFHM, and big CONGRATS to you on your pregnancy too. So very happy for you. x

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  10. Hi! Found you through Rachel (who, I've just discovered, commented above). Congratulations and do let us know if you open that envelope. I know I couldn't leave it untouched...

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    1. Hello MM, thank you for popping over. *Waves* I've been following your fab blog for a while now - and your very stylish pregnancy. I've been picking up lots of tips on how to style it out along the way!

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  11. Oh my goodness....there's no way that I could be so disciplined as not to open it! Are you tempted? I am so pleased everything was well. Hoping it continues to go smoothly for the next 20 weeks. x

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    1. Thank you. So far I'm feeling pretty chilled about not opening it. x

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  12. I'd be sorely tempted. I'd have to get rid of the envelope or something. I am glad all is well x

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  13. Thrilled that all was o.k MP. I was exactly the same with my scans in my second pregnancy (I had 19 in all - one a week after 20 week scan showed low fluid) and I was unable to speak before each one. I was adamant I needed to know the sex of our second baby. I am too much of a planner not to know lol! Due to the prematurity of J1 I wanted everything ready by 30 weeks, and I wanted to be able to go blue or pink (plus I already had a lot of blue so needed to know if it was coming out of storage to be washed and prepped!)

    I didn't feel it took anything away from the pregnancy or the birth. For me it enhanced it actually. I felt I bonded with the little person in my tummy more for knowing the sex, it is difficult to explain. I think because we had the name, J2 become 'J2' from 23 weeks rather than from the birth.

    I found it easier trying to get J1 to understand too. I also found it just as wonderful finding out when pregnant as at the birth. But you will know in your heart what you want to do!

    Anyway I am rambling!

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    1. I can completely understand your anxiety in J2's pregnancy. It's always nerve wracking but must have been especially so after the prematurity of J1. You make me smile, you strike me as so organised, of course you would want to know the sex to be able to prepare! I reckon even if you hadn't wanted to know with J2, after having 19 scans there would have been a good chance you would have either seen something or a sonographer would have accidentally let the cat out the bag anyway! x

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