I’ve just discovered the brilliant Brit Mums Blog Prompts, which inspired me to write this. The personal prompt this week is about ‘Pet Peeves.’ This is mine!
You. Yes, YOU; on the train to Waterloo,
I know EXACTLY what you’re about to do.
There you go, opening up your brown paper bag,
Ooooh, now I’m feeling slightly mad.
Unwrapping paper, you lift the burger to your chin,
Oh, whoops! Watch out! There’s a falling gherkin.
Won’t that be nice for someone later on,
They’ll find themselves sat on it after you’ve gone.
You. Yes, YOU; the girl with curly hair,
Munching through your cake with a vacant stare.
Look. Look. LOOK. At the crumbs everywhere,
I’m getting rather irritated that you don’t seem to care.
Oh, that’s considerate, brushing down your dress,
I’m sure the next passenger will enjoy sitting in your mess.
You. Yes, YOU; the schoolboy with the pack of Quavers.
Have some consideration for your Tube neighbours.
Here we go, through the tunnel in a rush,
Your left over packet soaring upwards in a gush.
Now look what’s happened to the girl with Afro hair,
It's filled with Quaver dust, like sawdust sprinkled there.
Then, a hostile look at ME and an irritated pout,
‘Did you leave that there?’ she starts to shout.
I’m just shrinking backwards, further into my seat,
Wishing there was somewhere else, that I could retreat.
I look at my deli bag, it’s contents still within,
When I think about my sandwich, saliva runs down my chin.
But I won’t open up my bag, I won’t take a bite,
Even though I’m feeling weak, and rosemary bread is what I’d like.
For goodness sake, people of London Town,
Put your food away, I don’t want to watch you noshing down.
Eat your kebab on the street, or your chips in the shop,
But don’t bring it with you. Stop. Stop. STOP.
It’s not good manners, in fact, I think it’s really rather rude,
Ladies and Gentlemen, PLEASE. NO EATING ON THE TUBE.